today has been a very thought filled day for me,
and an emotional one.
Don't worry, nothing has happened to me. Like most times, my emotions stem from my excessive thinking.
I was just thinking today, how bad people's lives are.
How, everyday people struggle for clean water, food, shelter, the necessities in life.
In first world countries, all we delude ourselves into thinking poverty, war, death don't really happen, or maybe rather it's far enough away that we shouldn't care.
I feel powerless to help, I feel guilty for having the things I do.
What did I do to deserve a house, an education, a bed to sleep in, a computer, all the while people are suffering, people are dying, and people don't care.
I don't know how to feel, I feel like I should sell my every possession and donate it to charity but then how do I know which charity, or if any charity is credible?
But then there is another dilemma I face, my adopted philosophy says that there has to be tragedy in the world, just like there has to be miracles. But I don't know if I can believe that, I certainly don't want to believe it. I don't like the idea that people have to suffer, that people have to die due to force or oppression, I don't like unnecessary war, I don't like that people cry at night, that people have nothing to live for, that people's wrists are scarred from chains, that people rip their hair out for answers as to why this happens to them. I was watching 4 Weddings today, and I was thinking how all that money to buy silly decorations, silly gowns and tuxes, silly rings and accessories, could have been used to feed so many people, to clothe so many people, provide warmth and shelter. But then I thought how big of a hypocrite I am, I was thinking of all this while I was watching TV on my parent's flat screen, in a warm bed with a roof over my head. I'm just as bad as them. As I'm looking around my room, I see so much stuff, a bed, clothes, mountains of books, a rug that has no use, a camera, a bow and arrow, silly decorations like fake flowers and paintings, did you know I have 6 pillows? It makes me kind of sick to even look at it all right now, I just want all of it to be gone, to sell it for charity, donate it, I only want what I need, I don't want useless objects, I don't want so many material possessions, there is no use for them. I want to start eating better as well, I don't need pop or chips or cookies or any other junk food, I don't want to waste food, or not appreciate what I do have.
Maybe I can't change the world just yet, maybe I can't make a difference in a persons life, but maybe I can start to appreciate what I do have and encourage others to do the same, once we all rid ourselves of useless material belongings, we will have more time to try to make a difference in the world. Please, take a look around you, notice things that you bought just because you could and try to come up with an answer if that truly makes your life happier or better, if you have no answers, donate it, sell it for charity.
I'm going to be doing that too, and I know it isn't much, but I'm trying and that's all anyone can really do.
I love you guys so much,
please appreciate and love the people in your life and the things you have,
See ya's later